* / \
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/ | | | /\
( ( _ , | | , _ ) ) )
\ / | | / / /
\ ) === ( (
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( \ _ @@@@_ ) | )
\ / / \ \ /
" +, _____ , + "

*Rock N Roll..Party HARD*

×´¨) (¨`v´¨) (¨`×
¸.·´¸.·´¨) `v´ (¨`·.¸`·.¸
(¸.·´ (* Lovely *) `·.¸)
'·.¸(¨`v´¨)¸.·'
`v´


* / \* /__\ */ \*
* | |---| |---| |*
*.·´¨`·*|- - -(¨¨¨)- - -|*·´¨`·.*
( *¨ *I------|* *|------I* ¨* )
* '·...·'·...·' ·...·'·...·'·...·' *
~*~castle in the sky~*~

_@@@
\_/ ______ _____//===============\\
| |__n_^__[[][][][]| /ooo\_|....|..|_i_|....||_i_|....|....| ||
c(_ Pimpin' Xpress ||
,_\_______|=|___________|=|_______________||
_/;_(@)(@)==(@)(@)(@)(@)==(o)^(o)---------(o)^(o)

_\*\______________________/*/
__\*\____________________/*/_
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____________/*/\*\___________
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______/*/____________\*\_____
_____/*/______________\*\____
___ /*/________________\*\___
__ /*/__________________\*\__
__/*/____________________\*\_
_/*/______________________\*\

Like My House?
__/¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯/\___*_|¯|____
/___/_____/____//_______/\ *
|  |--| || ·|| | | | |-|±±±±±
!¸· ¸·` ¸· ¸·` ¸· ¸·` ¸· ¸·`±
±±±±±±|¯|±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±

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-VOLCOM-

::Good Girls::..
..:::R:::..
..::::Bad Girls::::..
..:::::That Don't Get:::::..
..::::::Caught::::::..

***Telemarketer Revenge***

Do you get lots of annoying calls from telemarketers? Don't get upset about it! Use the opportunity to get a laugh!

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Alternately, you can tell them, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died ..." When they try to get to the sell, just keep talking about your problems.

3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

4. If they are selling a lawn service to make your grass grow better, tell them it grows to fast now and green is not your favorite color anyway .

5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my ! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.

6. Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends ... would you be my friend?"

8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out GOAT blood? How about HUMAN blood?

9. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit-card number to a complete stranger.

10. Tell the telemarketer that you work for the same company, they often can't sell to employees.

11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a telemarketer, set the receiver down, shout or scream "Oh No!" and then hang up.

12. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

13. Tell them it is dinnertime, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speakerphone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.

14. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some food.

15. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.

16. Ask the telemarketer if they use the product they are trying to sell. If they do, ask for a complete report. If they don't, ask them why not since it is such a great product.

17. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"

18. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up ... louder ... louder ... louder ...

19. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.

20. Tell them that you are busy and ask for their phone number so you can call them back. If they say that they don't give out their phone number or they don't take calls, then ask for the caller's personal phone number at home. If then they say that they don't like being called at home, quickly say "Bingo!" and hang up.

***40 ways to make you parents think your insane***

40 WaYs tO mAkE Ur pArEnTs ThInK Ur inSaNe$!~
1...follow them around the house... EVERYWHERE...
2...moo when they say your name...(moooooooo!)
3...pretend to have amnesia...
4...say everything backwards.... (ex: ...sdrawkcab gnihtyreve yas)
5...give yourself a swirly...
6...run around with a lamp shade on your head yelling, "the sun!!! it's dying!!!"
7...run into walls...
8...sing at the top of your lungs while running around the house in your underwear...
9...have nervous spasms at spontaneous times...
10...say that wearing clothes is against your religion...
11...stand over them at 4 in the morning with a HUGE grin on your face and say, "good morning sunshine!!!"
12...snort loudly when you laugh and then laugh harder..
13...run in circles...
14...recite a whole movie 3 times...
15...pretend to beat yourself up...
16...pluck someone's hair out and yell, "DNA!!!" (LOL!!)
17...slither everywhere...
18...wear a sticker that says, "i'm a good girl because I was awarded by being the best retarded girl ever!!!"
19...wear your pants on your head and your shirt on your waist... tell them you're making a fashion statement...
20...try and drink out of a glass the wrong way...
21...super glue your finger up your nose...
22...talk to a pen...
23...have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to ALL the time...
24...lay face down and chant like an indian tribe...
25...try and climb the wall..
26...spread out on the window and buzz, pretending to be a fly...
27...take your ice cream cone and put it one your forehead... say you're a lovely unicorn...
28...in public yell, "NO MOM / DAD, I WILL NOT MAKE OUT WiTH YOU!!!"
29...put pegs on your nose and eyes...
30...do what they actually tell you...
31...switch the light button on and off for a while. then say, "ooooh... I get it!!!"
32...eat your hair...
33...whatever they are eating, tell them it looks like a certain animal...
34...eat anything obviously not edible...
35...jump off the roof, trying to fly...
36...say your pet is mocking you
and chase it around the house...
37...hold their hand and whisper to them, "I see dead people..."
38...when you shower or bathe yell, "i'm drowning!!!"
39... try to snorkel in your fish tank...
40...try to bite your ear

***20 ways to tell sum 1 their fly is open***

20. The cucumber has left the salad.
19. I can see the gun of Navarone.
18. Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out.
17. You've got Windows on your laptop.
16. Sailor Ned's trying to take a little shore leave.
15. Your soldier ain't so unknown now.
14. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells.
13. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.
12. Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson...
11. Your pod bay door is open, Hal.
10. Elvis Junior has LEFT the building!
9. Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.
8. Ensign Hanes is reporting a hull breach on the lower deck, Sir!
7. The Buick is not all the way in the garage.
6. Dr. Kimble has escaped!
5. You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary."
4. Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction...
3. You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.
2. I'm talking about Shaft, can you dig it?
1. I thought you were crazy, now I can clearly see your nuts.
**************************************
***Clues that u r a redneck***

You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.
You've ever been pumping gas and another customer asks you to check his oil.
You think the Bud Bowl is real.
Your dog goes "oink!"
You think the Nutcracker is something you did off the high dive.
Your mailbox is made out of old auto parts.
You know how to milk a goat.
Your kids have a three-day old Kool-Aid mustache.
Your TV gets 512 channels, but you go outside to use the bathroom.
You've ever stood outside a bathroom and heckled someone inside.
Turning on your lights involves pulling a string.
You have a refrigerator just for beer.
You come back from the dump with more than you took.
Your wife owns a camouflage nightie.
You've ever worn cowboy boots with Bermuda shorts.
You don't think baseball players spit and scratch too much.
You think the Styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.
You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree to relieve yourselves.
The most common phrase heard in your house is, "Somebody go jiggle the handle."
You can't take a nap without at least one hand tucked inside your pants
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

***Fun wayz 2 order pizza***

Fun ways to order pizza...
1. If using a touch-tone phone, press random numbers while ordering, and ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.
3. Order a Big Mac Value Meal.
4. End the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
5. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line ad you're going with the lowest bidder.
6. Give them your address, and exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" And hang up.
7. Answer their questions with questions.
8. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.
9. Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST, FREE SPIRITED, COST-EFFICIENT. UKRAINIAN, PUCE
10. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.
11. Sing the order to the tune of Barney's theme song.
12. Do not name the toppings you want. Spell them out instead.
13. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread".
14. Stutter on the letter "p".
15. Ask for a deal available somewhere else (example: If phoning Domino's ask for a New Yorker!)
16. Ask what the order taker is wearing.
17. Crack your knuckles into the receiver.
18. Say hello, act stunned for a few seconds, then behave as if they called you.
19. Panic if they ask you if you would like drinks with that.
20. Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.
21. Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.
22. Change your accent every three seconds.
23. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.
24. Act like you know the order taker from somewhere else. Say, "Crack heads Anonymous, right?"
25. Start your order with "I'd like..." A little later, slap yourself and say "No, I don't."
26. If they repeat the order to make sure it's right, say "O.K., That'll be $10.99, please pull up to the first window."
27. Rent a pizza.
28. Order while using an electric knife sharpener.
29. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a big sigh of relief.
30. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni", using the long "i" sound.
31. Have your pizzas shaken, not stirred.
32. Ask "Are you sure this is (Pizza Hut)? When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When they finally offer proof that it is, in fact (Pizza Hut), start to cry and ask, "Do you know what it's like being lied to?"
33. Move the mouthpiece farther and farther away from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs.
34. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.
35. Imitate the order taker's voice.
36. Eliminate verbs from your speech.
37. When they ask "What would you like?" Say, "Huh? Oh, you mean now?"
38. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture to wait for your spouse to arrive so they could surprise him/her.
39. Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about marijuana.
40. Ask to see a menu.
41. Say you'll be able to pay for this when the movie people call back.
42. Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.
43. Ask what topping goes best with a well-aged Chardonnay.
44. Burp directly into the mouthpiece, then tell your dog it should be ashamed.
45. Order a slice, not the whole pizza.
46. Shout, "I'm through with men/women! Send me a dozen of your best, Gaston!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***50 things ya should appreciate***

1. Falling in love.

2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.

3. A hot shower.

4. No lines at the supermarket.

5. A special glance.

6. Getting mail.

7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.

8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.

9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.

10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.

11. Finding the sweater you want is on sale for half price.

12. Chocolate milkshake. (or vanilla!) (or strawberry)

13. A long distance phone call.

14. A bubble bath.

15. Giggling.

16. A good conversation.

17. The beach.

18. Finding a 20 note in your coat from last winter.

19. Laughing at yourself.

20. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.

21. Running through sprinklers.

22. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.

23. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.

24. Laughing at an inside joke.

25. Friends.

26. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.

27. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.

28. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).

29. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.

30. Playing with a new puppy.

31. Having someone play with your hair.

32. Sweet dreams.

33. Hot chocolate.

34. Road trips with friends.

35. Swinging on swings.

36. Wrapping presents under the Christmas tree while eating cookies and drinking your favorite tipple.

37. Song lyrics printed inside your new CD so you can sing along without feeling stupid.

38. Going to a really good concert.

39. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.

40. Winning a really competitive game.

41. Making chocolate chip cookies.

42. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.

43. Spending time with close friends.

44. Seeing smiles and hearing laughter from your friends.

45. Holding hands with someone you care about.

46. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.

47. Riding the best roller coasters over and over.

48. Watching the _expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.

49. Watching the sunrise.

50. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
***15 things to do in a bus***
1. start singing bery lloud to dump annoying song
2. start doing the pee dance in your seat
3. sit next to an empty seat and when someone tries to sit there so "no my imaginary friend sits there"
4. bounce up and down saying bouncy bouncy...
5. pick your nose and rub it on the seat or the wall
6. stare at the peson sitting next to you and when you look at you look the other way
7. start talking to someone you don't know and if they ignore you say your mean really loud
8. ring the bell at every stop then laugh every time he opens the door and noone gets off
9. when you get off the bus bang on someone's window and yell "your goy you gay"
10. stand right in front of the bus and ask the bus driver really stupid questions and spit when you talk
11. sing the barney song loud
12. bring things like tampond, act like you found it, then examine it acting like you've never seen one
13. act like you've been holding in shit for hours, look tence
14. stick your ass to the window and say "wow my butt makes marks"
15. hang from the bars from the ceiling, act like monkeys
--------------------------------------
***fun things to do in a movie theatre***

1. Start a leap frog game in the isle n see how many people u can get to play

2. Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"
3. Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses.

4. Clap when the good guy gets killed.

5. Make a noise like your passing gas and go, "Aahhh..."

6. Starting wheezing and ask the person next to you if you can have some Juicy Fruit for your asthma

7. During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?"

8. Whenever the badguy is doing something devoius, say, "Watch out!"

9.Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.

10. Tell the man selling popcorn that the girls bathroom is flooding.

11. Yell out what's gonna happen.

12. Wink and smile while telling the man next to you you've got diarrhea.

13.Wear a cape. When its your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away.

14. Yell, "Fire!" and moon the people coming through the exit.

15. Say that they cannot sit next to you because your invisible friend already is.

16.Yell outloud, "Stop molesting me!"

17.Scream, "IT'S HANNIBAL CANNIBAL!!!" if Anthony Hopkins is in the movie

18. Bring a beeper or cell phone and have it go off every 5 minutes

19. Laugh hysterically for absolutely no reason

20. When waiting to buy your tickets, ask if you can cut in front of the person in front of you. if and when they say no, wait two minutes, and ask again. keep doing this until you reach the ticket person.

21. When buying your tickets, order one for each movie and ask if they think you can make it to all of them on time.

22. When buying the tickets order one for a movie, then change your mind after they have given it to you. Repeat until you have gotten through all the movies and say, "Oh, i think i'll just stick to the first one."

22. When standing in line for snacks, glare at everyone and yell, "Do you know how much fat there is in all of this? You people should be ashamed of yourselves, sitting on your butts in a movie theater and then eating 4 million calories before you leave!"

23.When it is your turn, order an extra large soda, popcorn, 2 hotdogs, 3 orders of nachos, ice cream, and candy.

24. When the snack bar person asks what you want, say, "You. And put extra butter on that!"

25. When finding a seat, try and take up as many as possible and when someone tries to sit down say, "What's wrong with you? Can't you see that Tom is sitting there?"

26. During the previews, keep saying, "This is bull! Show the movie!"

27. When the movie starts, yell, "Wait! I want to see more previews!"

28. During the movie, keep whispering to the person next to you. When the shush you, shush them back and say, "Will you please shut up? I'm trying to watch the movie!"

29. Laugh obnoxiously 5 seconds after the joke is over, and keep laughing for about 10 seconds after everyone has stopped. (works well in dramas or tragedies that have virtually no comedy.)

30. During the movie, suddenly yell, "These people can't act for their lives! I could do much better!" Then proceed to stand right in front of the screen and mimic the actors.

31. Keep talking to your invisible friend next to you, saying things like "Dont you hate it when people talk during movies?"

32. When leaving the theater, spill the rest of your food all over the floor and seat, leaving a trail to the door.

33. When leaving, cut into the line of people waiting to buy tickets and ask the ticket person for his or her number

34. durin the movie stand up n say " can u please pause the movie i hafta pee"

35. Pretend to fall asleep n snore really loud.

36. Order a whole bunch of food then say forget that i'll just have popcorn

***20 Fun things to do in a Public Bathroom
20 fun things to do in a bathroom stall***
Fun things to do in a bathroom stall
1) Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"
2) Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldnt put my lips on that."
3) Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
4) Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
5) Drop a marble and say, "Oh shoot!! My glass eye!!"
6) Say "Darn, this water is cold."
7) Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place 6 to 8 feet. Sigh relaxingly.
8) Say, "Now how did that get there?"
9) Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."
10) Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!!"
11) Say, "Interesting...more sinkers than floaters.
12) Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop it under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?"
13) Say. "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!!"
14) Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot"
15) Say, "Darn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"
16) Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.
17) Before u unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.
18) Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"
19) Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free"
20) When you're in a bathroom stall take a Snickers candy bar with u and when someone is next to u, squish it in your hand and reach under the stall wall and say, "You got any more toilet paper over there, This side's completely out."
***things to do in a elevator***
1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your tissue to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of ''It''s a Small World'' incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, crash from side to side as if you''re on rough seas.
7. Shave. (Especially if you''re a woman.)
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask: "Got enough air in there?"
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you, "Admiral".
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I''ve got new socks on!"
18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back, "Oh, not now. Damn motion sickness!"
19. Give religious literature to each passenger.
20. Meow occasionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter "Gotta go, gotta go," then sigh and say, "oops!"
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing, "Mary Had a Little Lamb," while continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler, "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce, "You''re one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp, and then say "Mmmm...tasty!"
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and make it talk to the other passengers.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say, "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say, "I wonder what all these do," and push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space".
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it''s getting larger."
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler, "Bad touch!"
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

***ways to tick peeps off***
1.Sing the batman theme repeatedly
2.Specify that ur drive through item is to go
3.Learn morse code and have conversations in public consisting entirely of "beep bip beep beep"
4.If you have a glass eye, tap it occasionaly with a pen while talking to others
5.Amuse urself and others by hooking a camcorder to ur tv and filming the screen
6.Speak only in a robot voice
7.Push all of the flat lego pieces together tightly
8.Start each meal licking the food consumptiouasly and say that no1 will "swipe ur grub"
10.Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
11.Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
12.Sniffle incessantly.
13.Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
14.Name your dog "Dog."
15.Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
17.Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
18.Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace."
19.Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
20.Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
21.Practice making fax and modem noises.
22.Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
23.Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
24.Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
25.Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
27.Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
28.Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
29.Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
30.Disassemble your pen and % ally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
31.Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
32.Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
33.Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
34.Drum on every available surface.
35.Staple papers in the middle of the page.
36.Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
37.Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
38.Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks.
39.Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
40.Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
41.Set alarms for random times.
42.Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
43.Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
44.Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
45.Honk and wave to strangers.
46.Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
47.Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
48.Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
49.Wear your pants backwards.
50.Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
51.Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
52.ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
53.only type in lowercase.
54.dont use any punctuation either
55.Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
56.Pay for your dinner with pennies.
57.Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
58.Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
59.Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's front lawn in spray paint.
60.Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J. Simpson conspiracy theories.
61.Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
62.Light road flares on a birthday cake.
63.Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
64.Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
65.Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
66.At the Laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
67.When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
68.Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
69.As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
70.Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
71.Pretend your computers mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
72.Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
73.Drive half a block.
74.Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
75.Ask people what gender they are.
76.Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.
77.Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
78.Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes."
79.Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
80.While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
81.Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
82.Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
83.Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim its a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
84.Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
85.Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
86.Wear a LOT of cologne.
87.Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
88.Sing along at the opera.
89.Mow your lawn with scissors.
90.At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
91.Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
92.Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
93.Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
94.Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
95.Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
96.Never make eye contact.
97.Never break eye contact.
98.Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
99.Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
100.Make appointments for the 31st of September.10.Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies. ***things to do in Walmart***
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling
them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the
store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute
intervals throughout the day


4. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all
the spray air fresheners.

5. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of
gift-wrap.

6. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

7. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

8. When there are people behind you, walk really slowly,
especially in thin aisles.

9. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone,
"I think we've got a code 3 in housewares," and see what
happens.

10. Turn all the radios to polka stations; then turn them
off and turn the volume up to full blast.

11. Play with the automatic doors.

12. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi. I haven't
seen you in so long." etc. See if they play along.

13. While walking through the clothing department, ask
yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who buys this crap
anyway?!"

14. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are
taking it for a test drive.

15. Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet
behind them. Do this until they leave the store.

16. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire
store as your playing field.

17. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner, look
mesmerized and say, "Wow, magic!"

18. Put M&M's on layaway.

19. Move "Caution : Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

20. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you
will only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and
Bath.

21. Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from
other aisles.

22. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

23. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around
saying, "I'm Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave."

24. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

25. When someone asks you if you need help, begin to cry and
say, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

26. When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between
them yelling "Red Rover."

27. Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are
any in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples)

28. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a
full-scale battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men.

29. Take bets on the battle from above.

30. Test the brushes and combs in cosmetics.

31. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly
ask the clerk where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic
as possible.

32. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

33. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
Mission Impossible.

34. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

35. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

36. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me
to your Twinkies."

37. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

38. Two words: Marco Polo

39. Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet
section, etc.

40. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's.

41. When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at
something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

42. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

43. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, drop to
your knees and scream, "No, no, its those voices again."

44. Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.

45. Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax. Go
to the food court, buy a drink, and explain that you don't
get out much and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

46. Try to hold up customers with the toy guns. See how much
you can make.

47. run around then fall down infrount of people and see what they say to you.

Attempt to do all of the above in the same visit,
without getting kicked out.
***Sumthin weird bout Semptember 11***

The date of the attack: 9/11 - 9 + 1 + 1 = 11
September 11th is the 254th day of the year: 2 + 5 + 4 = 11
After September 11th there are 111 days left to the end of the year.
119 is the area code to Iraq/Iran. 1 + 1 + 9 = 11
Twin Towers - standing side by side, looks like the number 11
The first plane to hit the towers was Flight 11

But ....There's More.......

State of New York - The 11th State added to the Union
New York City - 11 Letters
Afghanistan - 11 Letters
The Pentagon - 11 Letters
Ramzi Yousef - 11 Letters (convicted of orchestrating the attack on the WTC in 1993)
Flight 11 - 92 on board - 9 + 2 = 11
Flight 77 - 65 on board - 6 + 5 = 11

you can copy this into your profile so we can pass it around!

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|[][][]| |[][][]|~IN LOVING MEMORY OF
|[][][]| |[][][]| ALL WHO LOST THEIR
|[][][]| |[][][]| LIVES...
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|^[|]^ | |^[|]^ |
R.I.P. 9/11/00 *God Bless America*

)·×·(
`·.¸ `·.
)·×·)
¸.·´ ¸.·´
(·×·(Laugh when nothing's funny..
`·.¸ `·.¸
)·×·)
¸.·´ ¸.·´
(·×·(Dance when there's no music..
`·.¸ `·.,
)·×·)
¸.·´ ¸.·´
(·×·(Sing like you've never sung b4..
`·.¸ `·.
)·×·)
¸.·´ ¸.·´
(·×·(Love till it hurts..
`·.¸ `·.¸
)·×·)
¸.·´ ¸.·´
(·×·(Cry when you're sad..
`·.¸ `·.,
)·×·)
¸.·´ ¸.·´
(·×·(Smile when you're happy..
`·.¸ `·.
)·×·)
¸.·´ ¸.

You stare because I'm different....
(\.../) (\.../) (\.../) (\.../)
( *.* ) ('.'= ) ('.'= ) ('.'= )
(")_(")(")_(") (")_(") (")_(")
I stare because your all the same!

::The Dirty Looks-The Jealous Stares::
......:: ..The Best Part Is.. ::......
: Y o u T h i n k I C a r e ::

`·.¸
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(¸.·´ (.*tennis*.) `·.¸ )
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| \ \ \ 0 | 0 / / / |
\ '- ,\.-"`` ``"-./, -' /
`'     /_ ^ ^ _\ '-'`
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\ \ / / !Mani's Monkey'._ '---' _.'
'--~'